Yeah, so I look a little different...

Maybe it was because I was hungry or maybe it was just the way she looked at me, but I almost went off on a lady at the mall this evening. I held my tongue and did not say a thing, but oh I wanted to. It was by no means the most offensive stare I have received and she didn't say anything to me. But she almost ran into the door she was staring so intently.

People stare at me. I get that. They need to figure me out. I disrupt their perfectly aligned gender binary. But can folks please lay off the comments and venomous stares? I once overheard a child ask their parent if I was a boy or a girl. Their response? "I don't know what it is." Seriously. Take a wild guess, say boy, say girl, but never call another human being an it. And don't teach your child to call someone that, it is not ok! It is never ok!

Yeah, so I look a little different. I don't fit the prescribed mold for what a woman should be. But guess what? I don't want to. That is not who I am. I embrace the masculinities that are natural in my body. I shave every other day because if I don't my five o'clock shadow becomes more than a shadow. I can and have grown a wicked set of sideburns, I rocked that look. But hate having and itchy face. I don't like wearing typical women's clothing because I like a little more room to move and I really do look great in a button down shirt and sweater vest.

I respond to he and she, sir or ma'am. In this moment, this is who I am. If you ask if I am a boy or a girl, I will answer with, yes. I am walking the line between. It is an incredibly uncomfortable place to be at times and a place that is not well received by some. But it is also an incredibly freeing place to be. It is because I have come to this point of accepting myself, of loving myself for who I am that I have been able to embark on this journey of health and wholeness. In the past I hid, I sulked on the sidelines, I let life pass me by because I was too afraid, too intimidated by the world's bullies, and too ashamed of who I am to allow myself to live an open life. That fear, that intimidation, and shame are gone. I am who I am, that is all that I can be. It is who I was made to be.

So, yeah, I look a little different, I am okay with that, I embrace it and I LOVE it.