Riding Lessons

I had to pause and take a photo...I was in awe.

I rode my new, amazing, fabulous, incredible, awesome bike to work today and I struggled through the first 12.5 miles of the ride.  I couldn't find a rhythm, I couldn't seem to get any power out of my legs, I couldn't figure it out.  I went back and forth through the gears trying to find something that worked.  I kept coming up short. As I approached the mile long hill, I knew that I need to shift off of the big chain ring in the front to the smaller one, so it would be a little "easier" getting up the hill.  I shifted.  My chain didn't drop down to the smaller ring, it popped up onto the larger ring. I was still on a flat section and all of a sudden I had power, I had speed, and I realized why I was having so many issues on the ride. I had been riding with the wrong chain ring the whole time.  I quickly switched again to the lower ring and started up the hill.  I rode what I could and walked when I needed.  It is steep in sections and my legs were feeling super tired. As I got to the top of the hill, I switched back to the large ring, rounded the corner toward campus, and took off down the road. It. Felt. Awesome. I finished my 14.7 mile ride and I was pretty darn proud of myself.  

But this post really isn't about the ride.  It is what I learned after the ride.  I have not posted much about my health journey for a while.  Mainly because I have not really wanted to post that things have not been going all that well.  I have been riding in the wrong chain ring.  I have not been able to find my power or my rhythm when it comes to food and exercise.  But that doesn't mean my journey was not moving forward.  My focus has been elsewhere.  This morning on my ride, I found myself in awe of the fog on the fields, the colors of the sun through the clouds as it burst out from behind the foothills, the ice crystals forming on my gloves and jacket.  All of these things held my attention while I struggled to find my rhythm on the bike.  I was still moving forward, I was still moving towards my destination.  

As I took my focus off my health journey my attention has been fixed on various other points.  I have been spending a fair amount of time doing some deep internal work.  It has been vitally important for me to focus on that work and I am in a better place because I made that my focus.  But as my focus shifted to that work I struggled with workouts and making healthy food choices.  My weight has gone back up, my fitness levels have gone down.  I have be out of rhythm and lacking power.  By no means do I think I have failed in my journey, I am still moving forward, but I need to pause for a split second, check my chain ring, and make sure it is in the right place for the path that I am on.  

If I had paused this morning at mile 2, at mile 3, at mile 7, to check the chain ring, I would have had a smoother ride AND still experienced all of the things that held my attention.  The beauty would not have been lost because I was moving at a faster speed, or with more power.  If anything the beauty would have been enhanced because I was not struggling against the gears, with my attention divided between my aching legs and the wonder that surrounded me. 

I know that when I am riding down the path with health as my focus, things fall into place a lot quicker. I am more in tune with my surrounds and myself. I want that in my life again. I need that in my life again.  So today I choose to check my chain ring. I choose to refocus on what it means for me to be healthy.  I choose to not struggle against the wrong gear anymore.  I am proud of myself for the things I have pushed through and the time I have spent in the wrong gear, because I never quit.  I didn't stop moving forward.  I am still on the path, but now I'm in the right gear.  

Are you riding in the wrong chain ring for your current path?  If so, choose to check it.  Listen to what you need to make the change.  Find the right gear and enjoy the ride.  You don't need to struggle.