Feel Free to Say Whatever You Want

So. I was going to stay quiet.  I was going to let this one pass. I don't need to comment every time someone says something homophobic.  I would never stop talking if I went by that policy.  But I can't stay quiet on this one.  I just can't.  Anytime some talks about homosexuality and bestiality in the same sentence it angers me.  And when I look through my Facebook page and see friends supporting a person who links the two, it makes me sad.  I can understand standing beside him if it was "simply" that he believed homosexuality was a sin.  I get that.  But when you agree with someone who sees no difference or believes that being gay will lead to acceptance of bestiality that hurts.

I support Phil Robertson's freedom to believe or say anything he wants.  He can stand on a street corner and shout that homosexuality is a sin...oh wait that's Fred Phelps.  I don't really care that he thinks that homosexuality is a sin.  I have plenty of people in my life that probably think that as well, but we are able to maintain a friendship just fine.  We can agree to disagree.  For me it is not worth arguing about what god thinks about my relationship with Aimee or my orientation, because, honestly...none of us can know what god thinks.

It makes me frustrated that people think that Phil's Freedom of Speech have been violated for saying what he believes in an interview and then being put on hiatus by his employer.  The First Amendment gives you the right to say what you want and the government cannot come in and censor or try and block your right to say those things.  It does not exempt you from the consequences of your speech in the eyes of your employer or the public.  He is not being thrown in jail for saying those things, that would be a violation of his freedom of speech.  A&E's decision to suspend him is well within their right to do so, as the company who produces his show.

I, as a member of the LGBT community, glad they took that step.  Far too often companies let anti-LGBT bias slide for the sake of a market share or profit.  Or even worse companies inject anti-LGBT humor into shows to get a laugh, to make fun of my community.  So for once.  I am glad a company didn't let it go, that they brought attention to it and said that they support the LGBT community.  They recognized the impact that his words would have and made a move to do something.  I applaud them.

Riding Lessons

I had to pause and take a photo...I was in awe.

I rode my new, amazing, fabulous, incredible, awesome bike to work today and I struggled through the first 12.5 miles of the ride.  I couldn't find a rhythm, I couldn't seem to get any power out of my legs, I couldn't figure it out.  I went back and forth through the gears trying to find something that worked.  I kept coming up short. As I approached the mile long hill, I knew that I need to shift off of the big chain ring in the front to the smaller one, so it would be a little "easier" getting up the hill.  I shifted.  My chain didn't drop down to the smaller ring, it popped up onto the larger ring. I was still on a flat section and all of a sudden I had power, I had speed, and I realized why I was having so many issues on the ride. I had been riding with the wrong chain ring the whole time.  I quickly switched again to the lower ring and started up the hill.  I rode what I could and walked when I needed.  It is steep in sections and my legs were feeling super tired. As I got to the top of the hill, I switched back to the large ring, rounded the corner toward campus, and took off down the road. It. Felt. Awesome. I finished my 14.7 mile ride and I was pretty darn proud of myself.  

But this post really isn't about the ride.  It is what I learned after the ride.  I have not posted much about my health journey for a while.  Mainly because I have not really wanted to post that things have not been going all that well.  I have been riding in the wrong chain ring.  I have not been able to find my power or my rhythm when it comes to food and exercise.  But that doesn't mean my journey was not moving forward.  My focus has been elsewhere.  This morning on my ride, I found myself in awe of the fog on the fields, the colors of the sun through the clouds as it burst out from behind the foothills, the ice crystals forming on my gloves and jacket.  All of these things held my attention while I struggled to find my rhythm on the bike.  I was still moving forward, I was still moving towards my destination.  

As I took my focus off my health journey my attention has been fixed on various other points.  I have been spending a fair amount of time doing some deep internal work.  It has been vitally important for me to focus on that work and I am in a better place because I made that my focus.  But as my focus shifted to that work I struggled with workouts and making healthy food choices.  My weight has gone back up, my fitness levels have gone down.  I have be out of rhythm and lacking power.  By no means do I think I have failed in my journey, I am still moving forward, but I need to pause for a split second, check my chain ring, and make sure it is in the right place for the path that I am on.  

If I had paused this morning at mile 2, at mile 3, at mile 7, to check the chain ring, I would have had a smoother ride AND still experienced all of the things that held my attention.  The beauty would not have been lost because I was moving at a faster speed, or with more power.  If anything the beauty would have been enhanced because I was not struggling against the gears, with my attention divided between my aching legs and the wonder that surrounded me. 

I know that when I am riding down the path with health as my focus, things fall into place a lot quicker. I am more in tune with my surrounds and myself. I want that in my life again. I need that in my life again.  So today I choose to check my chain ring. I choose to refocus on what it means for me to be healthy.  I choose to not struggle against the wrong gear anymore.  I am proud of myself for the things I have pushed through and the time I have spent in the wrong gear, because I never quit.  I didn't stop moving forward.  I am still on the path, but now I'm in the right gear.  

Are you riding in the wrong chain ring for your current path?  If so, choose to check it.  Listen to what you need to make the change.  Find the right gear and enjoy the ride.  You don't need to struggle.